Handling Big Words: Navigating the Moment When Your Child Says a Cuss Word at School

February 24, 2025

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After 2 kids I found myself burnt out and overwhelmed by motherhood all the while wondering how I got to that point.  After finding out I was pregnant with our 3rd I decided something needed to change - ME!  That's when I really started my journey on becoming the mother I wanted to be, finding myself in systems and routines that served me!

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Hey, let’s get real for a minute. Recently, I faced one of those unexpected parenting curveballs—a moment when my 4-year-old son blurted out a curse word at school. I was both surprised and a little embarrassed when I first heard about it. But as every mom knows, these moments, while challenging, offer us invaluable teachable opportunities.

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My Initial Reaction: A Mix of Emotions

When I learned about the “bad word” incident, my first thoughts were a whirlwind of surprise, embarrassment, and concern. I couldn’t help but wonder: Did he really understand what he was saying? Was this a slip of the tongue, or was there more to it?
I know many of you have had similar experiences, and it’s important to remember that our kids are constantly learning from the world around them—even if that means picking up a few choice words along the way. Give yourself grace, mama. We’re all figuring this parenting thing out together.

Understanding Why Kids Say What They Say

Let’s face it: little ones mimic what they hear without grasping the meaning behind the words. It’s completely natural for children, especially at that curious age, to repeat things they’ve overheard. This incident doesn’t reflect poorly on their character or on our parenting—it’s just a part of growing up.

This moment became a perfect opportunity to talk with my son about language. I explained calmly and clearly why that word isn’t appropriate, ensuring that he understood without feeling shamed or punished. It’s all about turning a slip-up into a learning moment.

How My Former Teacher Experience Helped

Having spent years in the classroom, I’ve seen firsthand that these teachable moments are par for the course in a child’s development. Here’s how my background influenced my approach:

  • A Broader Perspective: In school, I witnessed countless instances where kids would say things without knowing their full impact. It taught me that these moments are normal—part of the curious exploration of language.
  • Open Communication: I reached out to his teachers to thank them for letting me know and to share that I was addressing it at home. This not only reassured them but also reinforced that we’re all on the same team when it comes to guiding our children.
  • Empathy in Action: My teaching experience helped me remain calm and empathetic—not just towards my son, who was still learning, but also towards his teacher, who had to manage the classroom dynamics. It’s all about understanding both sides and handling the situation with grace.

Supporting Our Children’s Teachers

A key part of handling this incident was showing support for my son’s educators. When we work together, it creates a strong foundation for our kids’ growth. Here are some strategies that have worked for me:

  • Team Approach: Always let your child’s teacher know that you’re partnering with them. A quick call or note of thanks goes a long way.
  • Positive Communication: Approach conversations with an open mind. Ask for feedback—maybe the teacher has noticed other behaviors that could be addressed—while reassuring them that you’re managing the situation at home.
  • Building Trust: When teachers know they have a supportive parent in your corner, they’re more comfortable discussing any future concerns and working together for your child’s best interest.

Balancing Correction and Connection

It’s crucial to correct behavior with love. I made sure that my son knew the word wasn’t okay, but I also took care not to make him feel ashamed. Here’s how I struck that balance:

  • Correcting With Love: I explained the difference between words that are okay to use and those that aren’t, in a language he could understand. It’s all about guiding rather than punishing.
  • Respecting Rules: Use these moments to teach respect for different environments—what works at home might not fly at school.
  • Staying Connected: Keep the dialogue open. When kids feel safe and loved, they’re more receptive to learning and changing their behavior.

In the end, this “bad word” incident turned into a rich learning experience—for both my son and me. It reminded me that mistakes are part of growing up, and as moms, we have the power to turn these moments into opportunities for teaching and growth.

Take a moment to reflect on any similar incidents you’ve experienced. How did you handle it? And what could be learned from it? Remember, we’re all in this together, learning, evolving, and supporting our little ones (and each other) along the way.

Moms, let’s embrace these teachable moments with patience, empathy, and open communication. Here’s to turning challenges into opportunities and growing stronger together!

Happy parenting, and remember—you’re doing an amazing job.

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Home

kids

mindset

Moming

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explore the blog

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MORE ABOUT ME

After 2 kids I found myself burnt out and overwhelmed by motherhood all the while wondering how I got to that point.  After finding out I was pregnant with our 3rd I decided something needed to change - ME!  That's when I really started my journey on becoming the mother I wanted to be, finding myself in systems and routines that served me!

I'm Autumn

Mornings made easy: The #1 routine for overwhelmed moms

Redefine Success: How to embrace your ambition and thrive as a mom

You'll also love

I help goal-oriented moms trade burnout for peace by guiding them to find joy in everyday moments of motherhood through simple routines and systems. Together, we focus on becoming the best version of ourselves - both in motherhood and in marriage - while also learning to balance personal ambitions with family life. My approach empowers moms to get what they want and need, so they can feel fulfilled, present, and at peace.

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